Reflections of an Earlier Time

I have been doing alot of reflecting lately.  I have been thinking back to the early days when I met my husband of 34 years!  I knew him most of my life as he was only 2 grades ahead of me in the small town elementary school where we grew up.  Regardless of the grade all the kids knew each other.  Most of us walked to school, came from two parent families, and lived a lower middle-class life. 

The first time I talked to Frank as a possible 'date' was my first year of high school in 10th grade.  It was 1974 and I was entering high school in the city!  It seemed so large to me then.  I actually attended the same elementary school from kindergarten through 9th grade and then transferred to the city high school.  Our small town did not have a high school.   I thought Frank was very cool and he had a loud, shiny red car.  I was soon driving to school with him and a couple friends daily. 

After about a month or so of this, Frank told me he had to pick up his mother from work.  I was pretty shy with new people and asked him if she knew about me.  He indicated that she did, which was not true!  Frank and his family are Mexican, and my family are Caucasian.  When she got into the car next to me, I could tell she was shocked.  Not only that Frank had a girl with him, but that I was a WHITE girl!   She said nothing though as in the Mexican culture acceptance and nonconfrontation are the norm.  Needless to say the ride home was tense and silent. 

Similarly, my family had some reservations about me dating a person of a different race.  My father said to me early on, "You tell him that you don't go out with Mexicans!"  My first actual date, other than riding to school was going to the county fair in late fall.  Frank came to the house and was so polite and respectful that I think he won my mom over that day!  She was not an easy woman to impress but she liked him more and more as time went on.  My dad softened too which was mostly due to Frank's calm, and respectful nature. 

By the end of my tenth grade year, we had decided we were in love and wanted to get married!  I know, we were REALL Y young, and in looking back, it would have been much better to have waited and had college out of the way, and a few others things, before we decided to marry.  Our parents resisted it, but we were determined.  We even had to get a note from his boss stating he had a job and could support us!  We had to go through several weeks of pre-marital counseling with the Catholic church as I was not raised Catholic. 

Finally, our families blended in October of 1975 when I was 16 years old and Frank was 18!  There have been many ups and downs as in any long term relationship, but at the core has always been the thing that brought us together in the first place, a deep friendship and an ability to laugh at life and at ourselves.  Noone can make me laugh like this man!